BeTtY, mUm & SeAn

My mum and her best friend Betty have been having a cup of tea with Mr. Sean Connery - he was on a diet so did not eat as many of the jammy dodgers.
Mum has had a lovely time with Betty and Sean down by Ayr and returns Saturday.
Welcome back ladies and hope you had a lovely wee holiday. Mum l know you like your tea but thought you would have at least put your cup down while in the spotlight!
oops ~ I'm in trouble now- lol.

WeAtHeR & wELL-bEiNg

Which are the sunniest areas of Scotland and England respectively?

Generally, Scotland is more cloudy than England, due mainly to the hilly nature of the terrain and the proximity of low-pressure systems from the Atlantic. Even so, parts of Angus, Fife, the Lothians, Ayrshire and Dumfries & Galloway average over 1,400 hours of sunshine per year.
The sunniest parts of the United Kingdom are along the south coast of England. This is largely because the formation of convective (cumulus) clouds takes place over land, and the skies over the sea remain cloud-free.
Many places along this south coast achieve annual average figures of around 1,750 hours of sunshine.

The above was taken from a mag. l was reading.

Looking outside now it is overcast and raining but no complaining as this past week has been lovely. Take each day as it comes is my motto, especially now that l am living back here in Scotland. Yes, l miss the blue skies and sunhine much but everything here is also very lush and green. I know that we will eventually move down south to enjoy the better weather ~ for me also to be able to grow more tropical flowers.
The East coast of Scotland is cooler but drier, inland around Lanarkshire you can have large amounts of snowfall. Here on the west coast we have the benefit of the Gulf Stream and where l live we have our own wee micro-climate. The snow doesn't last for too long and we can even grow palm trees!
When out shopping this morning the woman serving me was saying how she felt depressed today because it was so dull. Whatever the weather we need to look on the bright side, easier said than done, l know but lets at least try.
Weather forcast for tonight: Dark.
~George Carlin

SwAmP sOcCer

Now l had thought l’d seen it all but this is too much! ☺
I remember years ago watching a movie starring Kevin Costner called ‘Field of Dreams’; ok that was about baseball but in Scotland our first love when it comes to sports is football. These pictures show you just how far even the locals are willing to go to participate and support the game ~ such determination and spirit! Begs the question, “Why is our national team not doing better?”
Anyone with a muddy old field lying empty? These players are paying £20 a head to enter! It seems like loads of fun, not just for the players but also for the audience. Can midges bite you if you’re covered in mud? Perhaps l’ll give it a go.

sOmE tHiNgS yOu CaN't Do

..have it both ways
..have your cake and eat it ????
..get blood out of a stone
..make and omelette without breaking eggs
..make a silk purse out of a sow's ear
..run with the hare and hunt with the hounds
..teach an old dog new tricks
..tell a book by its cover
..shake hands with a clenched fist
..tell which way the train went , by looking at the track
..win arguments by interrupting speakers
..have a rainbow without rain
..pick up two melons with one hand
..fool all of the people all of the time
..sip soup with a knife
..see the sky through a bamboo tube
..measure the sea with a shell
..cheat an honest man
..catch a cub without going into the tiger's den

InNeR bEaUtY

Some people, no matter how old they get
Never lose their beauty –
They merely move it from their faces into their hearts.

"Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music – the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself." – Henry Miller

"Often people attempt to live their lives backward: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who your really are, then, do what you need to do, in order to have what you want." – Margaret Young.

ScOtLaNd ~ Go On… TaKe A wEe PeEk!

Uniquely Scottish


Geography


History


Scottish Inventions


Art & Culture


The West Highlands






This is my country,
The land that begat me,
These windy spaces
Are surely my own.
and those who toil here
In the sweat of their faces
Are flesh of my flesh
And bone of my bone.
Sir Alexander Gray

HoW dOeS yOuR mAn ScOrE?

I couldn't sleep tonight so came downstairs to make some tea and go online.
Came across this and it made me smile. To be honest l have a great husband but even he would forget the decorative pillows ~ that's why l don't bother with them either.
There are a few in here l bet most women will relate to. Poor guys ~ they just can't win.

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed ..........+1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows.... 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets.......-1
You leave the toilet seat up.........-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.... 0
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex......-1
When the Kleenex runs out you use the next bathroom.......-2
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings......+5
in the snow........+8
but return with beer........-5
and no liners..........-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night..... 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing..... 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something......+5
You pummel it with a six iron.......+10
It's her cat.........-40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party....... 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a College drinking buddy.......-2
Named Tiffany.........-4
Tiffany is a dancer.............-10
With breast implants.......-18

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.......0
You buy a card and flowers.......0
You take her out to dinner....... 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar.......+1
Okay, it is a sports bar..........-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night........-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, & your face is painted the colors of your favorite team....-10

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal.....0
The pal is happily married.....+1
The pal is single......-7
He drives a Ferrari......-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)........-15

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take her to a movie......+2
You take her to a movie she likes......+4
You take her to a movie you hate.....+6
You take her to a movie you like........-2
It's called Death Cop 3......-3
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans........-9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans......-15

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly......-15
You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it.....+10
You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts..-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."........-800

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding........-10
You reply, "Where?".......-35
You reply, "no, I think it's your butt"........-100
Any other response........-20

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.......0
You listen, for over 30 minutes.......+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience.....+50
Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying "Well, what do you think I should do"......-50
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV.....+100
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep.....-200

WhErE dId oUr HoUsE gO bEtTy?

A North England newspaper once advised its readers that if news of a nuclear attack being launched broke, they should paint their windows with a mixture of whitewash and curdled whey in order to deflect dangerous rays, and soak their furniture in a solution of borax and starch to prevent fire. What the readers were expected to do with the remainder of the four-minute-warning, the paper did not say. Try the crossword, perhaps?

mRs. DiViNe By HoRiZoN

And there is Mrs. Divine, the mother of four grown children, all with letters after their names, a domestic queen and devout wife of the parish minister. When not at the side of her titular lord she was generally to be found in the same room, on the same spot, ironing and starching all, from white collared shirts to the white cotton sheets. She held great and just pride in her home and appearance. Her attire always buttoned closely from chin to the ground, strong walking shoes, and neatly groomed hair. She was a plain serious woman, respected, and liked. What a pity it was that her husband was never able to appreciate the shy wisdom, and quiet direction, that very nearly amounted to genius. She took her position seriously and each week flung her self into and orgy of cleaning in preparation for the ladies’ afternoon high tea.
So it was that on every Wednesday afternoon strictly at two o’clock, the doorbell would chime, and Mrs. Divine, with a natural dignity would advance to receive them - escort them thorough to the east gable and therein the parlour. With the rustle of skirts and the clatter of boot heels they’d sweep by her and steal to their desired chairs.
A gracious parlour it was, with a wide beautiful window, which had been cut toward the sun and elegant china, placed gingerly throughout the room. Mrs. Divine’s chair sat beside the fireplace; in which she kept a continual flame to add warmth to the home. The hearth gave heart to the parlour with its quality-cracked tiling and distinguished mantel, displaying deeply engraved carvings of Adam and Eve. Mrs. Divine thought that the carved figures were as lovely as a dream wherein a subdued tinge of the wild and wonderful was thrown. A rather singular coincidence it was that Mrs. Divine even in her exhilaration kept her emotions subdued amid the vivacious chattering.
With fresh disappointment, Mrs. Divine knew that as the clock chimed three. There would be a familiar tapping upon the parlour door. Immediately the sharp vibrating sounds would cease, the door would fly open and there he’d be: handsome, tall and broad shouldered – ascending amongst the ladies as a god. She’d watch as her husband met their eager faces with shinning eyes and bright smile. He would quickly assume his place; attending to everyone’s wants, listening sympathetically and giving immense satisfaction.
Mrs. Divine had never seen such infatuation and in a wide-awake survey glanced around the room. Her husband had bewitched, seized and shook these women; lips twitched, convulsive laughter rang out and a torrent of breathlessness surrounded her. To these ladies Mr. Divine was evidently the centre and the sun, and Mrs. Divine felt that he’d have been better suited to the name of Mr. Desire! After the benediction and even before the echo of the minister’s boots had died away on the stairs – the ladies would bid their leave.
Mrs. Divine’s pleasures lay in her religious visits with the travel shop each Wednesday afternoon- after the ladies had gone. There she would stay and browse through the multitude of magazines, full of enriched colour photos, until closing time. Her youthful imagination had dwelt most fondly on being a world wanderer- marked out for high destiny; and with this flush of far away beckoning, a flow of natural feeling gushed like a wellspring in her heart.
The blue sky paled considerably to Mrs. Divine – it was Sunday morning, and as decorum demanded she was to take her place on the front pew at the Kirk after all others had been seated. Briskly striding to her seat, she would first pass through a fog of moth balls that hovered amidst the two back rows and then pass by the vain haverels, stroking down and setting right their finery, before the organ would crank to alert them that the minister was aloft in the pulpit.
This Sunday service revealed the truth in its most naked form. Some ladies gazed fixedly at the speaker as if he beheld something mysterious and unearthly while others gazed in the pursuit of sinful pleasures. Their pupils watching every move of his powerful hands, as he turned a page, grasped the side of the deep, rich mahogany or simply wrung them. With cheeks faintly blushing and bosoms heaving in the direction of her husband, Mrs. Divine knew then that mortal desires had grievously replaced a moral direction.
Perhaps the jealous element was not entirely lulled in their round curves and passions within the vestibule, but in the truth that her marriage was one now only of convenience. He was a self-deceiver to have distinguished himself amongst these shameless charlatans. The years together had passed, summed now only into a moment. Her minister had fallen from grace and it seemed that his influence and biblical directions would be left only for futurity to show.
Tomorrow dawned fresh and fair and it was from this, as it was with each new day, that Mrs. Diving drew an inward strength. Tired of living in his shadow, of being lost in an unused life, she had bid a sweet goodbye to pain. Lying back with a bemused smile she imagined the events that would soon unfold.
That last Sunday morning as his eminence embarked upon the stairwell he was unusually greeted by the smell of damp kindling and stillness. Questioning what set of circumstances had befallen; he pulled a bowl from the shelf, and ate, and thought. During the service he missed her assuring presence and afterwards was quizzed by the fellowship as to the whereabouts of his dear wife.
Retreating back into his quiet place, surrounded by his ever watching books and sharply groomed leads, he sat to divide the collection plate as usual: minister’s wages, missionary fund, club uniforms- and not forgetting his questionable leftovers. These tid-bits had amounted to quite a vast sum over the years. Mr. Divine had envisioned himself as a missionary – Mrs. Divine envisioned her husband as missionary in Costa Del Sol!
The combination to the safe had only been known to Mrs. Divine and himself, as safe as a baby in its mother’s arms, he thought- he was wrong.

PrObLeM sOlViNg fOr TeEnAgErS

You need to click on the image to enlarge.

mY mOnThLy MoOdS

Most women, including myself have a routine to their monthly cycle. Most men know about the PMS side of things but do they know or understand the rest? Personally speaking l have more than a few different facets to my personality and am clearly controlled by my hormones.
It has taken me many years to figure it out but here goes:

1. Save the world day: Beg my husband for us to adopt an orphan, go VSO or donate our new set of plates to the charity shop.
2. We’re doomed I tell ye! : We are all going to starve, the house is going to collapse, you're going to die and we’ll never manage ~ the world is ending in five minutes. scream!!!!!!
3. Worry about the future day: Time to update the chequebook – make better-organized shopping and budget lists- Get on to the kids about not wasting anything. Clip coupons wildly.
4. Chocolate and wine night: Over consumption of both!
5. Shopping day: WARNING: ‘Should never be crossed with when you are hungry!’ I am suddenly able to see the many bargains on offer/blue light specials- added with the extra toiletries, cleaners and treats- this can add up.
6. Design week: Redecorate house; paint; garden, build; create; reorganize; blog. I can become quite bossy.
7. Let's have a family night: Board games come out and l try to get the kids to stay in after dinner so that we can all bond and hobnob together. They all run! I usually get weirdly creative with the cooking this night - trying out my own concoctions- some great- others just scary.
8. Get caught up day: A frantic day of calling around, updating documents (passports, University papers), making appointments for dentist/car service, finding what house insurance is the best deal, getting estimates, asking questions. This day is a good one as it clears all the things off that have been left for whatever reason, however it does leave me covered in yellow stickies/note lists.
9. Health kick week- l must lose weight- l avoid mirrors because l end up upset. I try to loose all the weight in one mad day of unremitting exercise~ normally leaves me a bit light headed and in need of medical assistance. NOTE: If this week is around time of the ‘Shopping Day’ then l stock up on new low fat menu ideas too.
10. A few depression days: Usually the weather is overcast, kids are doing their own thing and l have had a really busy few days and am tired. Isn’t helped by wanting to scrapbook and then looking at all the old baby photos.
11. Parcel day: Create a fun parcel for someone in the family or friend- for birthdays and other special occasions. Cover it in stickers and fill with confetti.


And not forgetting the PMS bit, which my husband says, is all the time anyway…hmm.

Why can’t l get a little ahead instead of a bigger behind?

If you can add to this list please leave a comment.

ThAt'll Be Aw fOr NoU

We had a car boot sale this past weekend and did quite well. Among those who came to the stall were people speaking in ‘old Doric’ ~ my mum was quick to point this out. Doric is a language/ Dialect of Scotland ~ from the North East. Although small, Scotland has quite a diverse culture and there are many variations of the Scottish tongue.
Most recently, an important cultural voice for this language was gifted by Maureen Watt as she read out her oath of loyalty in the ‘Doric’ at the Scottish parliament. Maureen Watt is an SNP (Scottish National Party) politician from the north-east ~ Keith.
On looking up information on ‘old Doric’ l realised why my mother was so quick to recognise the language ~ mum uses Doric words herself! Here’s just a few:
Wood=wid
Trousers=breeks
Withered=wizzen
Turnip=neep
Sew-seeds=shew
Soup=broth
Roof gutter=rone
Potato=tattie
Mother/Father=mither/faither
Living=leevin
Light=licht
Small stones=chuckies
This site is worth a peek: Scots Grammar
Especially liked the Proverbs
Anyway, l have to say the ‘old Doric’ is a wonderfully evocative language ~ cheeky & beautiful at the same time ~ which sums up so much of the Scottish character.
It's a braw bricht moonlicht nicht the nicht – try saying that fast!

AnOtHeR tEeNaGe PaRtY

Mel and her friend, Chris away to an 18th birthday party. It's nice to see your kids happy with good friends. Friendship between teens isn't any different than friendship at any other time in our life. Still, adolescence is a tumultuous time, and teens often rely on their friends to be the only ones in the world that seem to understand them. And that can only serve to strengthen an already powerful bond.

CaThEdRaL iN tHe TrEeS

There stirs a gentle, tender breeze
Near my cathedral in the trees~
Its stately aisles of living green
Have windows where lost boughs have been.
Its choristers are tuneful birds,
Sing magic music more than words;
Large congregations come to hear
The restful music and the cheer~
These woodland creatures find the ways
To pray and play and sing their praise,
Deep organ notes of wind-brought health
Are more to furry friends than wealth.
They come to gain in soul's release,
To live in love and joy and peace.
by Margaret Commer

LoVeLy LoCaL LaDs

Don't you just love the ties! Another visit from the Codfathers this evening, Kyle & Scott.
Poor guys, they must dread coming to my door ~ camera at the ready!!
Veg. and fruit were wonderful as always.
Keep up the good work lads.

Good Old-Fashioned Values